If Only My Ears Could Emit Steam!

Why did I believe this could happen??? Am I that desperate and needy??? As if the past week hasn't been tough on me. Now this??!!!

Ok, here's the deal... The last week has been one so frustrating that all I could do was cry!
I feel that strongest are those whom can control anger than those whom vent it out through physical violence.
So I cry.

The deeper I got into my thesis, the more I realised I don't belong where I am. I cannot relate to the things I am doing anymore. I feel numb. I am not earning much dough. I can't seem to find the time to do my exercise routines and I am putting on weight. My performance in odissi classes is dwindling. I can't focus on my work. I can't focus on where this is going and I can't focus on my life! I don't know who I am and what I want anymore.

And the more I see people around me doing better than I am, in fields of their choice, the more I become bitter about my predicament! IT IS SO BLOODY FRUSTRATING!!!

To add to this, the 24th of April came but Married Man never... 25th passed, and now it is the 26th. I guess he forgot that I existed. So I called. Just to make sure I wasn't jumping to conclusion about anything (who knows, he may have died-God forbid, he may have been sick, or he may still be in The Land of Temples, or he may be busy, or whatever valid reason for him not contacting me).

But horror of horrors, my cynical suspicion became true.
He picked up and answered in the most casual manner one could possibly sing a tone to.
My blood pressure shot up.
And again, like my cool collected self, I decided that confrontation is not the answer.
I hit the 'Call End' button.
I felt like an idiot.
And I am now, more angry than ever!!!