A Very Short Story of Two Gay Men and A Not So Straight One...

I have recently come into contact with two Indian gay men. A local one, and a foreigner from a neighbouring country.

Local Indian guy's mother is under complete bed rest battling cancer. Vicious, vicious disease! And he still manages to lighten my day up!

Foreigner has a mom who has suffered a stroke and has lived to tell the tale. A little mentally repressed but a sweetheart nonetheless!

And then we have Mr. P, the not so straight character, lost his mom a year and a half ago and lost his brother recently. His Facebook rantings are well justified but is ordeal is what moves me.

WHEREAS

My problem is facing a stupid assessment of my thesis with two examiners.

You see my point?

Chill the FUCK out J!!!

Keep calm and do your best...

Remember When You Love Someone

Remember when you love someone and you get jealous because you suspect your someone is doing something behind your back with another someone? I still do. It's like plunging a knife into your gut and twisting it all about...

It was about half past 6 am, 16th June 2014 when my phone rang... Usually I'd sleep so soundly that the phone would ring three or four times and it would continue to only ring. I guess God saw an opportunity to make me see something. 

It was Confused Gal with evidence that Mr. P was being more than just friendly with his current housemate. A girl who is already in a relationship with someone else. 

Going back to my initial point, I just didn't feel anything. 

I guess Mr. P detox has been complete for a while now... 

Took me a real situation to find that out...

Now all that's left is to try and fall in love again!!!

Come on heart, work with me!!!

J HAS to fall in love again!!!

IT IS ABOUT TIME!!!

When I Said That Character Won't Be Seeing Its Last Post....

How such a passing thought becomes true. I met Mr. P again, after exactly 2 years and 2 weeks.

Last I met him, it was his sister's wedding. I didn't attend his mom's funeral. And that was the end...

And just hours ago I was there, sitting in his living room like it was 2009 all over again. 

I went there because I felt, the very least, his dad needed some sort of comforting. Losing a child is the stuff of nightmares. I was also helping Confused Gal and her sister out because they couldn't find a bus out of that remote place.

I didn't actually have a proper conversation with him. There wasn't much to say between us. But he did make an effort to talk to me. He teased my weight gain as I walked in the door and while eating as I was kinda forced to have dinner.

Mr. P : Have some more rice J.

Me : Enough, that's enough for me.

Mr. P : Why? What you on a diet or something? *wide smiles*

Me : *raised eyebrows and smiles*

I noticed that he kept looking at me. I was too afraid to look right at him because when someone just looks at me, I look them back straight in the eye. I am not in love with someone else. And even if I were, a relationship like the one I had with Mr. P doesn't just erase itself. I did catch a glimpse of him and we stared dead straight into each others' eyes for 2 whole seconds. I knew he wanted to make conversation but I just wouldn't look his way. For the most part I was sitting on a one seat couch beside which was a separate 2 seats couch. And for the better part of the night, he was sitting on that two seats couch edged near me. He managed to tell me about how the accident happened and the mystery surrounding it, details of which I am trying to erase myself. 

And then I left, with Confused Gal and her sister.

Later I sent them off on their way and I came and sat down in the car.

I need a Mr. P detox. 

That's what it feels like right now.

But I know, come tomorrow, I'll be just fine...

Now I Pity Mr. P...

Just about a year and a half ago Mrs. GE's time on Earth came to an end.

Just over 24 hours ago, her youngest followed suit.

I got the news yesterday morning.

Crazy Soldier was the bearer.

The boy was 23.

Was just confirmed to receive his diploma and graduation was supposedly around the corner.

Apparently his motorcycle skidded right into a wall.

The one invariable scenario I got from all the stories I heard was that the fella suffered a head injury which lead to his death on the spot.

Now I feel bad for the guy.

Not the brother, I feel bad for Mr. P...

He's already messed up, 'up there' *gestures to the head i.e. the brains*.

This is the last thing he needs; another loved one leaving him.

I kinda started the string of his loved ones (arguable, but I'd like to think I was one of them) leaving him.

Intentionally or otherwise.

First me,

Then Confused Gal followed (yes, it has been over a year since they've been separated).

Then the mother, Mrs. GE.

Now his brother.

I offer my solemn prayer to God.

For his brother's Soul.

Dear God,

Take this soul, this child of yours, into your merciful arms.

Offer him comfort and solace.

Take his pain away.

Console him and then as per the laws of karma,

Move him on or give him salvation.

I pray for his salvation.

Aum Shanthi.

In my vivid memory, 

Jayaselan, 1991 - 2014.