With regards to my previous post, mom, dad and yours truly attended the wedding dinner, and, on the correct date!!! Hallelujah!!! The poor thing was so disturbed she didn't use the saree she originally did on the faulty event...
The past few weeks have been filled with weddings, relatives abuzz and multiple dates with people... My roomie, friends from the lab, friends from other social circles, my brother, my cousins. And here I thought I had no life!!! You know what they say, be careful what you wish for.
Dancing has been oh-so-wonderful, with training commencing for the 9 nights festival which in this particular state in Malaysia is rather celebrated. The coincidental clashing of the two festivals (the one of the Hindus and the one of the Chinese) makes it an even more sight to behold, especially the colourful Chinese procession alongside the exuberant Hindu temples adorned for this celebration of the Gods and Goddesses. Personally, Navarathri (9 nights) this year for me bears all the more significance, because it represents my first performance with my dance school and a proper recognition of an Indian classical dancer (man, I never get tired of repeating that). I am sky-rocketting through in classes, being ahead of many intermediate and on par with the advanced level dancers there; very much the beginner with just 6 months of experience. It has been truly a blessing. To be able to train with one of the country's finest.
The more I attend weddings, the more I am reluctant to believe that this notion about romantic love being such a force to reckon with. Utter bullshit!!! Relationships have crumbled before my very eyes and even if people get together, 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us apart', none of this wows made have been upheld. And even if they were, compromising one's self is synonymous with being in a marriage or a relationship for that matter. A dream relationship is like hitting a sublimely ripe mango on the top-most branch of a tree with one stone. Most people fail at it. But then, many people just settle with whatever that falls onto them because society sees the need to own a 'mango' as an obligatory list of being human. The society I live in at least. If two people cannot find common grounds then why even bother reaching for the mango??? Love??? Which is why I have come to resent this!!! Seeing couples hating life but just pulling themselves together for this elusive reason is rather infuriating. WHY??? Is love for one person all that worth? I doubt that, having been through it myself... Monumental are those so-called made in heaven matches that I respect, with all my heart, the immaculately flawless nature of their relationship. But why step into matrimony??? How can two people take wows of death do us apart when all that would require to do them apart is something as simple as another human being or some legal papers, both parties sign to separate on the basis of irreconcilable differences??? Hypocrisy hasn't seemed to real to me. More so, when I know of people whom I have slept with that are now regularly sleeping with one person to the eye of the society and sleeping with many others in my personal 'eye of knowledge'. Set aside those people whom are deluded by love, how about people whose insatiable libido takes them outside the marriage and into another's biological canal (and vice-versa)? I stay baffled. And all I have been doing in the past few months attending these events are eye-rolls that could make me dizzy and faux nausea reflexes that could easily equal the real effect. Don't get me wrong, LOVE, as intangible as it is, is real. I don't hate LOVE, I resent those whom tarnish it.
On a lighter note, Mr. P recently tried contacting me as he was in town and wanted to meet up... I declined and continued ignoring his calls and messages. The next day, Confused Gal calls me and asks me what the hell was going on. Apparently, she was receiving the frustration blows of not having met me or rather pretending to ignore what has happened between us, from Mr. P. And I laughed, hard and long!!! He was doing what he used to do with me, with her. Ok, this is what used to happen a year ago (used to because it has happened countless times albeit difference in content);
Mr. P: Did you talk to Confused Gal? What did she say?
Hdaran: She said that she cannot possibly consider a relationship with you because she can't seem to forget the things that have occurred in the past.
Mr. P: Ok, now call her and talk to her. Ask her this, 'the things that have occurred in the past, whose fault was it?? If she had not done all the things she did, we wouldn't be in this situation right?' But make sure you ask her as if you are asking her. Not like I directed you to ask her.
Hdaran: OK.
(Hdaran continues to do as told. Wait, let's be polite, Hdaran continues to do as 'requested'.)
And now he has probably requested her to ask me why I was avoiding him because Confused Gal's sentence began something like this;
Confused Gal: Senior, I wanna ask you. What's the problem between you and senior P??? I am asking this because I wanted to know for myself.
Hdaran: *laughs uncontrollably, very much aloud* You think I am that stupid to not know that Mr. P asked you to do this???
Confused Gal: No senior, I am asking on my behalf, seriously.
Hdaran: *continues to laugh* Ok, if 'you' must know, then here is what I have to say. Whatever has happened, who, where, when, what, and how, Mr. P knows. Ask him not to pretend otherwise and tell him I told you this. For the next year or two, I will not meet him or talk to him. We'll see... in a year or two, possibly, we may speak. Until then, no, definitely not. I will not meet or talk to him.
I think Mr. P's chapter in my life is done, and this time, I am so certain that I feel have never been more certain about something in my entire life!!!
