A Past Revisited

Earlier tonight was Mr.P's sister's engagement  (aiyo, I am over him la!!! This is not some "emofied" post!!!). I was there, not for the engagement but as a favour.

Rewind to last week during one particularly pumped up jogging evening.

*phone rings*

On the screen it read, "Mr n Mrs. GE", a.k.a Mr. P's parents.

(conversation contents have been edited due to poor memory retention)

Mrs. GE: Hallo Hdaran. Enna aiya rombo naala aachi pesi. Engelellam maranthethingela??? Aperum, epidi irukingeh??? (Hallo Hdaran. Has been long since we last spoke. Have you forgotten us??? Well, how are you???)

Hdaran: Aunty... Ille aunty, romboh busy ah irenthedthen, neraya vele irekke atha... Na nalla irekken aunty. Ninge, uncle, akka, thambi, ellam epidih irukkangeh??? (Aunty... I've just been very busy, lots of work to do. I am fine aunty. How are you, uncle, sister (Mr. P has an elder sister) little brother (Mr. P has a younger brother as well), and everyone else at home (referring to their relatives that live around the area)???)

Mrs. GE: Ellam nalla irekkangeh aiya. Aperum Mr. P (can't use his real name now can I???) sonnarah? Akkavekke parisam vetkirangene...? Adetha varem Nyayetteh kelemeh. Kandippa vanterengeh aiya. Ore naalekke munne vanterengeh. Ninge kolam potteh taringelah aiya? Mr. P tha sonnareh ningeh alaga kolam poduvingeh ne... (Everyone is fine. Did Mr. P tell you? That sister is getting engaged...? It's the Sunday after next. Make sure you come. Come here a day earlier. Can you prepare a "kolam" (Indian rice art, go "Google Image" it) for the occasion? Mr. P told me that you do a great job with it...)

Hdaran: Aama, sonna. Kolam poda solli ketta. Emmmm, urrrrmmmm, sari aunty... Varen aunty... Kolam potteh taren. (Yes he did tell me. He also told me about the kolam (it was a few messages on Facebook, and I decided long, long time ago, Mr. P's chapter on "Just Me" is obsolete). Emmmm, urrrrmmmm, ok aunty. I'll be there. I'll do the kolam (come on, how can I say no the woman whom treated me so well and showered nothing but hospitality?)).

So, I drove down on the 25th of March morning. Armed with a mahjong paper, on it a simple design and coloured rice. I had a nostalgic drive down to this obscure location on the Malaysian map. Scenes of so many heartwarming instances from a past life. The house, the roads, the temple, the Maroon Wira, the Petronas. It wasn't weird. It was like being home. Aside from the strong reminiscence, I was truly happy. Because I have, truly moved on.

Seeing him was nice. Really. I was ok being around him. The cloud has passed.

My work...

I think the real thing is the fact that I am falling for someone else.

FYI, I was out of there and on my way back home once I'd done my part. Some other important chores needed my utmost attention.

Reply to "A Cup of Coffee would have Made It Right!"

It was a rather quiet night. Unusually quiet for one as beautiful as this one. All I could hear was the sound of waves crashing against the beach in its everlasting effort to reach the shores.

I felt the night breeze gently caressing my skin, my hair waving away buoyed by the breeze which brought about a sort of soothing aroma from the sea. It made me think, how fortuitous is it for me to be able to spend such a peaceful night without any worries, without being distraught by the happenings of the world. Thinking that I have my own place in the world, being in the moment encapsulated by mother Earth's love to mankind.

I wouldn't have been so comfortable by my norms but today was different. Although I kept thinking how long this would go on, I wanted to savor it for as long as it lasts regardless, enjoying every morsel of joy.

My thoughts went deeper and I started questioning myself as to why or what gave me this much of comfort and pleasure. Something I have never felt since being in my mother's womb.

I realized then...

I was lying down on this plush pillow. A pillow which gave me a feeling that it was all for me, its mere existence was to make me happy. Slowly I opened my eyes. The first thing that I saw was this beautiful star lit sky which was somewhat overshadowed by the effervescent moon in all its glory. I wished I was one of those stars up there shining so brightly watching all that's happening in this world. But something told me that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world but on that pillow.

It was just any pillow; blood gushed within coupled by a faint heartbeat. As I drowned into the heartbeat, I felt like it was saying my name with each stroke. It filled me with ecstasy just knowing that I was lying on your chest.

I woke and moved closer to your eyes, every second feeling like an eternity. As I moved forward, you tilted your head and opened your eyes. Your gaze met mine and as I looked deeper.

I realized..

My mere existence is to love and to be loved by you...

And you alone...