Trinkets and Garbage in The Shrine

Cleaning up the house can be a surprisingly thrilling experience. Now especially since everything is being unearthed and not just boxes packed and moved occasionally.

You see, The Shrine is a landed single storey terrace house with four rooms. Although a terrace house, it is a long one, so long I daresay one could jog in the house! Of the four rooms, one is Gdaran's and mine, the other is the abode of the The High Priest and Priestess. The third room is the actual shrine of the house (the altar) and the fourth WAS, much too dishearteningly, the store room. A store room which calls for the crew of Clean House to come storming in! However, with the massive renovations now done, that room has been cleaned out for The Empress Dowager (Madam R).

Oh dear God, that uproots another story digressing from this one. Oh well, you see Madam R has been living with her son's family for well over two decades when, just a few months ago, my aunt-in-law dubbed The Devil in Disguise a.k.a Madam R's daughter-in-law threw a tantrum of biblical proportions sending The High Priestess into a rage resulting in Madam R's departure from her son's family. To add further melodrama, this happened on Mother's Day! The Devil in Disguise has been verbally abusing The Empress Dowager for over two decades now, occasionally throwing a fit, forcing involvement of The High Priestess and her sisters; all because of her unspoken (oh wait, very much verbalised) hatred towards The Empress Dowager. Tamil soaps have no match for these bouts of theatrics. So now, The Empress Dowager has fittingly taken to living in her own quarter in The Shrine; the former store room. How we managed to clean that room out, I have no idea!

And we're back!

Cleaning out the store-room really disclosed things that I would have otherwise never knew still existed. Like my FUGLY batik shirt from freshman year in university; or a hideous ultramarine vest a la a wrongly up-styled Crocodile Dundee. I wore that vest over and over again during tuition classes when I thought they were in style or when my friends commented on it (owh the horror!!!). And then there was a bag full of hidden stash of my so-called 'memories', sweet wrappers from my friend's dedications in school (the ones where someone delivers it to your class and only the most popular people get them =P ); or memorabilia in the form of photo frames (too many of them), mugs, key-chains etc. And then there was a blanket belonging to Mr. P which I put away in a box together with some other things I brought back from campus three years ago. I swear it still smelled like him (dirty dirty me, eiiiiyeerrrrrrrrrr). Pictures from my childhood, pictures from my parents' childhood (Madam R looked particularly fetching and fleshy and my mom's visible buck-teeth was so obvious when she was slender which is now very conveniently hidden under her padded cheeks).

I share this particular trait with The High Priestess and The Empress Dowager; the inability to let go of material things because they bear some sort of significance.  Tattered, torn and beyond use or aesthetic value, we tend to desperately cling on to them, crippled by the fear of loss. But then, The High Priestess and I started mingling with spirituality and then we grew to realise the nature of maya (the creative objects of the Creator) and it's hold on mankind. Both of us finally began to see a clearer picture and through that we braced ourselves and started parting with these material things one by one...

All the clothes that I could no more wear or would no more wear are now stored in a box awaiting donation; including Mr. P's blanket.
All those memorabilia are waiting to be discarded, once I have a picture of each of them (still holding on in a way but isn't it the memory that counts?).
It was massive, but it was necessary.
Every time mom would decide on throwing something away, I could see a heavy heart. Yet once the actual decision was done I would see, the very next moment, a lighter spirit. One that is rid of another weight she seems to carry around.
The Shrine is now newer than ever, there isn't any reason why we shouldn't be.


My dad's memorabilia, however, found places in our spanking new shelves. The shelves were indeed designed to hold them because they fetch great stories of his extraordinary visits to many lands afar.

Miniature sculptures of the Great Wall of China and the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
His prized Matryoshka dolls and hand-painted boxes from Russia.
Dolls in dance poses from Thailand.
Miniature gondolas from Venice.
Boomerangs from Australia.
Mirror embossed Rajasthan elephant dolls.
His picture feeding a tiger cub in Sri Lanka.
Kimono clad pen dolls from Japan.
A miniature version of the original Little Mermaid on a stone; the famous story by Hans Christian Andersen from Denmark.
Miniature elephants wood sculpture from Nepal.
Wall plate sculptures of scenery from Florence.
A blown glass art in the shape of a fish from Italy (which still has a chipped off tail due to a mishap in the airport).
A key holder and an ash-tray from Mauritius.
Wood plates from the Philippines.

And I've just named a few from ONE shelf...
I used to envy Cookies and Cakes for his collection of antiques from his maternal predecessors; I always told him that his house is like a museum which hold so many wonderful artefacts. 
Then I looked again at all those little trinkets my dad bought from so many countries and how they would, in fact, qualify The Shrine as a museum of sorts.
I stood back, very much proud!

News Flashes

The title gave it away didn't it?

News flash #1

The shrine is undergoing some major renovations! Like a MYR 80 k worth of renovations! The Priest just got access to his retirement money and has decided he'd use it to make the shrine a place for comfortable living. Never has the shrine seen such massive change! 

News flash #2

The cousin sister whom I abhor is back from Shakespeare Land for good and with a spanking new accessory; a boyfriend (that poor man)! Now, the funny thing is I knew she was seeing this person from High Achieving Babes (I think I am renaming her to Lady Di cos that's the feeling I get from her, so regal and poised!). Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine's significant other is a friend's brother of Lady Di and the two of them started seeing each other well over a year ago. Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine only recently came out to the extended family about her 'catch'. 

So lo and behold upon her arrival the engagement ceremony was being elaborately planned! Naturally, Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine knew of my taste levels and asked me to help out with her sarees, hairstyle and makeup. Before I knew it, I was there on the 31st of August, actually doing her makeup! And it turned out brilliant!!! *pats on my back* 

She was so happy that she gave me small token of appreciation and booked me for her wedding and her wedding dinner.

News flash #3

I think The Wizard and I have been 'friend-zoned'. 

News flash #4

The best yet, this year for Navrathri, we are getting our own odissi accessories *heart skipping a beat*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not be happier!!!!!!!!!!!

The Shift

I recently dissected the reason why giving up smoking was so hard.

Being always the goody-two-shoes of the family, I have always rebelled in secrecy.

Smoking was time when I'd sneak out and do something bad just so I don't feel like such a wimp.

That's somehow changed when I was recently craving a cigarette and sat down and thought to myself why.

I am going to start with a new and controlled addiction.

Alcohol!!!

Not gonna spoil my liver overdosing on it but I am getting a bottle of red wine every week and enjoy a little of it every day...

CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

That reminds me I need a proper wine glass...

A Salute To Cookies and Cakes

I hope you (CnC) do read this.

Amid the formative years of bad hairdos, unflattering wardrobe and massive self-loathing; to the self-discovering stint through many questioned morals, freshly unearthed and buried beliefs and horrific dating and sexual activities took place; to the self-assured well-grounded current state of mind;

one thing has been an underlying theme through which the worst of predicaments have yet to distort; the epic friendship of Hdaran and Cookies and Cakes.

In my mind, the monumental 21st Century Fox introduction needs plagiarising here.

During our teens it was all about our friends at school, which teacher to taunt, which club would be most popular beneficial, an enormous presence of ego and quite intriguingly a massive fallback to inferiority. The exchange of deafening secrets, the clash of opinions and the continuously recurring juvenile altercations. Cookies and Cakes and I have gone through bouts of dramas that always invariably leads to days (weeks and sometimes months) of mute acknowledgment.

Moving into our early 20's saw a new gush of switch from close proximity on a daily basis to geographical distance which spun months. Truth be told, our bickering still did persist and however subtle those waves of differences were, they seemed to be intensified multitudinously. This was those years of first loves and heart-wrenching separations all of which led to staggering self-growth. Self growth that provided significant tolerance and the much needed 'new perspective about life'. 


At the moment, well-adjusted to the current state of affairs, our bond has proved itself unshakable.

Now more than ever.

So here's to that special platonic man in my life; may we always have each other to buy one another a drink (my time will come soon enough - CnC, you should know what I mean)...

A New Chapter in My Life

I think it's about time I at least post an entry about this new character in my life. The Wizard.

The Wizard is a man I met through that popular gay dating website. A rare combination of an alcohol drinking, football watching, mother loving, bank personnel with (thank Heavens) a good command of the English language. He's also capable of walking amongst the popularly known group Indian men are so often associated to, the macha's. Don't be fooled though, The Wizard cooks and loves Italian.

And as with any new tale in Hdaran's life there's a catch. After 6 months of a lot of back and forth Hdaran and The Wizard have yet to meet. That's right folks.

This is also one of those elusive tales of promised monogamy without physical contact.

That far-fetched idea of distance obliterated.

That impossible notion that not seeing does not taint hope (God is of course an exception because I felt His Presence).

How all this plays out; stay tuned folks.

If this is the next big thing; Hell it better be good.

And when and what happens; you know I'll be writing in acceptable detail.

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My First Conference

Last week I had my first taste of an organised formal meeting for discussion and exchange of ideas.

Yes, last week was my first conference in which I presented a paper...

And it was amazing!!!

Of course there were times I felt dumb but being among all the great minds in the room and coming to a realisation every now and then that I was a part of it gave me goosebumps...

Best of all, it was conducted in a hotel which hosts a restaurant well known among foodies in the island... Situated along the coastline...

I took some pictures of the food...

Grilled beef, Norwegian salmon, tiger prawns, Moroccan lamb stew, mussels in sambal. The salmon and beef were overcooked. But the others were delicious! This was the conference dinner on the first day, AFTER my presentation, so I ate without much worries... It was so satisfying... The appetizers were just as delightful. Pan-seared bluefin tuna (nice and rare), and smoked salmon!!! I forgot about taking pictures during the appetizers because I was too excited to eat!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!

Grilled lamb chops, seafood lasagna, grilled dori fillet, sausage with cheese. The dori fillet was over-seasoned but the others were good! This was lunch, 2nd day conference...

A piece of the lamb chop in the picture above. I stood there where the chef was grilling eyeing the lambs when he noticed I was wandering and said, "There's a plateful of them there," pointing to the previous batch of grilled chops. I said, "I want them freshly grilled." He said, "Ok, how well do you want them?" I said, "As rare as you can make it." And those were the results of my request. The ones that were already cooked were just medium rare bordering on well-done. That is why I requested that the chef do a few fresh ones for me... Of course I let the meat rest before cutting into them or else it wouldn't have looked like the picture above!

YES, THEY WERE ALL BUFFET MEALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malaysian Talent

Please watch this video of two Malay dancers from Aswara excelling in an Indian classical art form...

More About Mr. P

Regrettably this character would not be seeing its last post on Just Me...

And like so many others before this, it involves the narration of a series of unfortunate events...

I have been (constantly) reminded of Mr. P's sister's wedding by the family. Living up to her doting nature speaking to her automatically told me that I was about to be roped into something I didn't want to be roped into. True enough the mother of three called to make sure I RSVP'ed yes for the soiree. I reluctantly did unknowing of what was to unfold; Confused Gal called to request that I attend the wedding so that they could have me driving them there...

You see I did not want to know about the matrimony let alone be a part of it... All along I was under the impression that the wedding was an evening one. This would mean I would have enough time to adjudicate a Science fair competition for Tamil primary school students (which I agreed to do weeks earlier) AND make it for the wedding. Alas, the news-bearer dispensed with the details of the wedding which takes place in the morning, the time within when the Science fair takes place.

Goodbye adorable little children and new acquaintances (Science fair).........

I made arrangements for someone else to take my place at the judges' table and drove to the northern region of the state accompanied by Confused Gal and her sister.

I think I need a drum-roll here...

Literally a sight I was not at all prepared for greeted me at the venue; the figure of my aunt #1 appears from within the temple just as I walked into it.

A few thoughts ran through my head in the following order...

Why is that woman looking at me?
Oh my God that looks like ...
WHAT THE F***???!!!!
THAT IS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait wait ... I have the wrong place...
Look into the crowd Hdaran...
I see him, in blue, Mr. P...
I have the right place then...
Then... why...
Oh no.... OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.....
Are we ...???

Then the conversation with my aunt ensued (Tamil words using Roman letters have been done away with to make my life easier)...

Aunt: Are you here alone?
Hdaran: No I'm with them... *points to Confused Gal and her sister*
Aunt: Oh, who are they??
Hdaran: Oh they are all my juniors... Including the bride's younger brother...
Aunt: Oh wow! The groom is your uncle's elder sister's son...

Yes, you thought right... Mr. P and I are now related...
In the Indian culture there are relations, connections which disallow any union of marriage.
For example I can't marry any of my mom's sister's daughters because they are equal to my own sister (if I had any). And similarly I can't marry my father's brother's daughters (not that I want to).
AND then there are some relations through which people are encouraged to get married to... In the old days, people tried to keep wealth in the extended family and thus encouraged marriage within the family wherever  marriage is possible... However in recent times there have been scientific evidence saying that this leads to dumber kids (in crude terms)...
For example, I am allowed to marry my mom's brother's daughters and my father's sister's daughters (euggh, revolting thought!!!).

This is extendable to second cousins and third cousins. Now Mr. P is my third cousin whom, if either of us were the opposite sex, marriage is allowed.Oh the irony!!!!!!! I have slept with this person already!!! What if the connection equaled him to a younger brother???

I have to call Mr and Mrs GE athe and mama from now on, the same thing I call my dad's sisters and their husbands respectively...

This isn't disturbing though... Just weird... I spent the past three years trying to forget someone whom is now someone I am related to through marriage... And I haven't forgotten him or how I used to feel for him. However, take note of the word 'used'.

The feelings are but only parts of my history no matter how vivid they are.

2012!!!

The CHECKLIST has got a few things to be ticked off...

1. Finish masters.
-Very very close but still "un'check'able".

2. Start PhD.
-Well, #2 is totally dependent on #1 so I guess that remains to be seen.

3. Loose weight along the way. 
-I am getting there. After weeks of failed attempts I am back in those Nike trainers again!

4. Get that f**king paycheck! 
-Ah HAH!!!! I've got the paycheck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOHOOO!!!!!!!! What a sense of satisfaction that was! Another milestone in my chapter! It ain't much, but it's a start. So, CHECK!!!

5. Dance dance and dance!!! 
-A fantastic progress here, I am now, a senior dancer. YUP, I skipped the intermediate level. HAHAHAHA! Friday, 25th of May 2012, I will be, for the first time, conducting our weekly official odissi class because;
#1, our designated trainer is currently in pursuit of that very Herculean task; the "Arangetram", the bharatanatyam graduation performance.
#2 The next in line, one of the senior dancers would be absent tomorrow.
Given that I am probably the only one whom has caught up on the latest Pallavi piece we're learning, and also the fact that I am well-versed with the procedural workings of the weekly dance class, I am going to be training the class tomorrow!!! How awesome is that??? Only last year I was a junior dancer!!! CHECK THIS TOO!!!

6. F**king quit tobacco!!! 
-This is probably the most monumental of the entire checklist! Yes, I have officially ditched cigarettes!!!!!!!!! CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEHOLD 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've Dunnit!!!

I remember the post about gunghroos. And I promised myself I would do it...

AND, I HAVE!!!

Here they are!!!