Presenting, The Dirty Laundry of Hdaran's Extended Paternal Family

An aunt who has been disowned by the extended family recently got in touch with me through Facebook. I was told of the existence of 'another' Attai (aunt in Tamil) when I was 15. Apparently she had run away and got married to the love of her life. I am sure there is more to this tale but one shall not delve further until the time comes for someone to step up and reveal the truths. Dad's younger sister she was and the love of her life was of a different religion.

*shakes head*

These are the times that I would've loved to be straight just to see how they would react if at all my future wife is Christian. Well, at least the reaction of my paternal extended family that is (my mom's eldest sister got married to a Christian and she wasn't put through atrocity like the former was). Apologised, she has, and it seems, to no avail.  I trust, judging from the lights of my extended paternal family, that her decision in pursuit of love could've very well been the best decision of her life!!! Being in this family would've done nothing but box her mind into this tight space where everything she's subject to are mere preconceived, premature notions about the world, with no way out; confined to stereotyping and loud unnecessary wailing, confrontations and a myriad of disposable, totally uncalled for drama!!! I see it in all my father's siblings.

Aunt #1: The eldest but yet, with all the reading she has been doing and all the so-called wisdom-talking she does, she was/is/will be, to me, one of the most judgmental people I've ever come across. Her family is a wretched one. Eldest daughter was married off to a person of the sub-species of the homo sapiens; a lower sub-species that is. The ones who live for being nothing but solely a burden to mother Earth; homo attero (waste for Latin). Being a tad bit judgmental myself, I suppose. Then again, would you respect anyone whom in all the times you've met is steadfast to alcohol, or a cigarette or sometimes both??? AND is known to NOT have a secure job??? Her second child, a son, got attached to a woman whom two timed him. And her youngest, well, she has been the proper one so far but she alongside with her elder sister is obese, and if I might say so morbidly. Besides the disproportion, she is so full of herself (again being a tad bit judgmental, but I am also a self-confessed fashion critic and this woman fills her wardrobe with all the things a plus-sized women should never).

Uncle: Dad's only brother and the 3rd child of the family. Married to a woman whom has been rumoured to be unbelievably lazy. I only address the woman out of respect and keep my conversations with her short, concise and time-worthy. My uncle, like the 1st aunt, has 3 children. A dropout from Police Camp who has been wasting his life spending time wooing women (plural; i daresay), binging and sleeping at home. Another classic case of the low life sub-species. The second son, has been job hopping all this while, earning meager dough that I am sure does not suffice for him to feed himself, what more give the family. The youngest, is no better, and like my former cousin sisters, she is breaching onto an array of fat-related interminable diseases. My poor uncle, the sole breadwinner of the family, is still working to make ends meet with the entire household still living off him. Over 50, he needs a break, which in my opinion is vast distances apart from materialising.

Aunt #2: Converted to Christianity a few years ago. No judgments against this. Its a free country for God's sake. But I've seen with my very eyes the very staunch believer in Hindu 'witch-doctors' and priests with supernatural solutions to her problems, pinning garlands of lime to please the Gods (demi-Gods, that is). A very distorted ideology of she had, of Hinduism and I would never blame her except in the circumstances that she was raised in (its a miracle my dad isn't anything like such although he has his fair share of being judgmental, primarily to people like me; LGBTs). Her son is missing in action from the household and she has been somewhat sidelined by her mother because of her recent endeavour. A judgmental person herself, this aunt of mine used to throw sharp words at things I never understood to be wrong-doing when I was a child. For instance, helping out in the kitchen. Her husband used to do the same, teasing me because I was not a boy, rather a coward timid sissy. They seem to have had their testing times which I've come to know to be rather dire. What karma does; beware!!!

Aunt #3: The aunt living away from the rest, in Land of The Machas. She is a stalwart believer in the supernatural which always annoys me because of her lack in background reading of spirituality. Always coming up with false conclusions of religion and religious practices, she has a way of making people believe her through conviction in speech and wondrous facial portrayals. Three daughters she has and although they seemed to take on their mother, the elder one has mellowed down to actually seeking advice. The second one  is good at heart but has been misguided by conformations the family is subject to; standards they've set themselves to be the ultimatum (wishful thinking of helping this bright young lady to broaden her horizons has been but only thoughts). The youngest, like all youngest child of a family, is pampered. A lot of growing up to do but curiously at 14 years of age is rather intelligent and well-read just like her elder sisters. The sad part to this tale however is my uncle. Psychotic I must say, to be able to fire a gunshot at his wife. Luckily it was dodged by my aunt. This is but one simple example of how much terror he can cause. Life seems to be going rather undisturbed for them currently, absent of those unexpected bouts of 'epileptic fit' my uncle throws. Though my aunt has a long way to go for a blissful life, I still hope the light at the end of the tunnel may shine through, that her norms in believing and worshiping astrology, may be just the thing she needs to get rid of.

Aunt #4: The youngest. Like the rest of my dad's siblings has three children. The eldest met with a horrifying accident from which he escaped death two years ago. The second child is an alcoholic at 19 years of age. Both of the boys smoke incessantly. The third one- with the exception of Aunt #3's three girls- is like the rest of my cousin sisters in the family, morbidly obese. Enough said about the offspring, my aunt is a person on a spiritual path like my mom and myself but is still contained in a box whereby passing judgments is yet to be rid off. A scenario at a tailor's shop (which both she and my mom frequents) may tell you why.

In Tamil,

Tailor: Will you get married? (Questioned me; he obviously saw through my sexuality)
Aunt #4: Of course. He's got three aunts, how can he NOT be married???
Tailor: *smiles* Don't get married and then later regret your decision. Sometimes people rush into things and then cry over it later. (I knew exactly what he meant)
Aunt #4: Don't worry, Hdaran will definitely get married to a wonderful gal. *tones of cuteness* (you would be if you are over forty but at just 4ft 10inchs tall, nice and round)
Hdaran: I know how I am going to lead my life and how my future is to be and I shall not let anyone dictate it. (being the person I am, I wanted to get the message across that marriage is not in my books without disclosing my sexuality)

Anyone who knows me, would definitely be able to see the fact that I will never be able to find solace in heterosexual matrimony. My entire extended family believes otherwise and God knows they're all in denial and sitting comfortably with a false notion that I would indeed adjust my beliefs for their respect. Reality check to knock in, in less then 5 years!!!

So there it is, the dysfunctional extended family. Everyone sitting comfortably in their own cubicles engineered to believe that life is all that is in their heads. Pretending that gay people do not exist in their midst, convinced that God is what their distorted minds have come to conclude, believing that life is to be followed according societal rules that govern it, sadly and utterly unaware of the whirlwind of possibilities that my mind, constantly and effortlessly, collects into plans and pursuits I have set for in my life.

God, help me HELP them...