Today's bad

Today's been bad.

I thought I was all cried out.

But realised I hold it in these days because if I start crying, I won't be able to stop.

I feel guilty for ever saying this out loud but my life is so shit.

So shit.

Ya, I am still mad

As someone who's been visibly plus sized for a brief couple of years, and predominantly obese MY WHOLE LIFE, I empathise with individuals afflicted with eating disorders, anorexia and bullemia.

What I don't appreciate is people calling themselves fat as a casual jab when they indulge in food or skip a couple of workout sessions.

It is a such a sweeping declaration of their superiority.

Because it automatically implies being fat is beneath them.

And they, VERY CONSCIOUSLY, believe they're better than everyone fatter than themselves.

Wouldn't matter if they see fat people as their intelligent and socio-economical equal.

Being fat automatically nullifies the equal playing ground!

My Emancipation

I still frequent Facebook. There are some people there worth keeping up to date with. It is still very relevant where I come from. Not necessarily with gen z but millennials and older are still very much on it. And many things still go viral on Facebook.

So a bisexual friend of mine, who's married and has come out to his wife about his sexuality mind you, had the audacity to leave a comment making fun of a transgender individual tying the knot akin to Hindu South Indian customs to a man. This trans individual also had facial hair and looked like they were presenting as non binary which I believe invited the slew of queerphobic comments. I am also being  a tad bit presumptuous as she may also identify as a trans woman.

All that was to simply preface my anecdote.

Now, my emancipation comes in the form of being able to block someone on Facebook.

And as I age, I do not stall. The click is exceptionally prompt.

Especially when I see a queerphobic rhetoric. It doesn't even have to be explicit queerphobia.

And that gives me an overwhelming sense of catharsis.

So often

 I have to talk myself off the ledge.

All the time.

I would never jump because I am too scared.

I hope there comes a time in my life when ledge is a little further away.

Because it has been very close the past couple of years.

I've learn to deal but alas it is isn't ideal to say the least.

But all so I don't jump.

I won't.

But the ledge is near.

Thailand, You GO THAILAND!!!

 Thailand,

First Southeast Asian country to legalise same-sex unions!

Second Asian country to legalise same sex unions.

The country lead by tolerance with Buddhism as its underpinning has never discriminated against the LGBTQIA++ albeit social norms where we still remain outliers.

Slowly but surely we're picking up on our non-discriminatory origins and the re-assimilation of queer people into society.

There's a name for people like me!

 

Thank You, Again

 First you gave me Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan.

Now Badhaai Do.

Thank you Bollywood.

I genuinely didn't think I'd live to see this day.

Can't wait to be 65

I don't expect to make it past 65.

My entire being finds so much comfort in this.

But if I do.

I am smoking again.

YES!

Love Yourself but Not If You're Fat?

GET OVER FATPHOBIA!

If someone's value is depleted to you simply because they're fat

YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!!

Calling someone fat isn't an insult!

YOU'RE JUST AN ASSHOLE!!!

Fat people being sexy is valid and if you use "brave" to compliment them,

YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!!

We're SYSTEMATICALLY oppressed!

BMI is antiquated!

I can't tell you to be attracted to a fat individual.

But if you compliment a person to be more attractive only if they were/became thinner,

YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!!

Superfluous punctuation was intentional.

Thank you for coming to my TEDShout.

I am Judgmental

I am beginning to hate the word "non-judgmental". 

There's a very insidious undertone to not "judging" someone. Often used against the marginalised to "not judge" them for their "lifestyle", the subtext of this is, people who are disabled, 2SLGBTQIA++, and racial minorities are inherently abnormal. People who practice polyamory (not to be confused with polygyny) and sex workers ought to be included here too. Sure, none of the above mentioned groups of people are common but implying that any of them are abnormal is classist at best and racist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist at worst. And no, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism is not simply causing inconveniences to people within these groups. They cause thousands if not tens of thousands of needless deaths around the world. 

Now I'd say, let's judge!

Let's judge the men who think they're better than women.

Let's judge pedophiles who molest children.

Let's judge racist law enforcers trained in exclusionary supremacist systems.

Let's judge murderers who kill transwomen.

Let's judge!