Many genderqueer or transgender people go through a stage in their life when they just accept being gay. Mostly because they want to just get through life as painlessly as possible. However, being ostracised for not conforming to gender norms makes them question everything and if information and education is at their disposal they eventually find their way to a place where they can finally identify themselves, accept who they are, and know they're not alone by aligning with people alike. The likelihood of a transgender or even a genderqueer person to get to this particular point is, I would say, an uncommon scenario in a third world country. I can safely say I am blessed to have taken (or been put on), a route that has led me here.
Questions in me when I was fresh out of that plague called Mr. P have slowly found resolution. I am still not entirely sure of myself but I am in a much, MUCH better state of being than I was when
I wrote this.
With all that taken into consideration, being part of a stage play that requires me to get "dressed as girl", (hence "drag") has been so invigorating that I almost forgot that a stage play requires one indispensable aspect above everything else; ACTING!
When I had initially agreed to do this role, it was a friend that had actually coaxed me into it, painting me a picture of optimism and positivity. It happened to be what actually convinced me into agreeing. However, I quickly found out that this wasn't the case. I had an altercation with my friend due to contradicting requests I got from the director, not in terms of the acting itself but in terms of absence notifications for practice sessions. Thereafter, all I have been getting has been cold shoulder, DURING practice sessions, both from the director AND my friend. I do understand why this happened. These people, including my so called friend, are young(er) and they do bitch about everyone else they deem worthy of "bitching". I have witnessed this first hand, before the altercation, when everything was still flowers and butterflies between, me, my friend, and the director. This friend, of course, will be history to me after this play ends, as will be the director.
Now, getting to the "moral of the story", if acting is something I am passionate about like odissi or makeup even, I would tolerate the worst. In fact, I have tolerated, being shouted at for not giving my all during practice, being called untalented and receiving comments that basically meant that I had deviated knowledge on dance, particularly odissi. None of this made me want to quit, NOT FOR A SECOND! I am awaiting my return to TDS with faith, hope and a strong conviction that I will prevail!
However, acting isn't a passion of mine, and if this is what it takes to act, and by 'this' I mean petty attitude due to an altercation that was NOT my fault, then I am SORRY, I am bidding adieu to acting after this stint. FOR GOOD!
As for doing drag, well that is something I am still unsure of. I am guessing I'll know for sure, if I DO want to pursue it when I have the entire ensemble on during opening night! And Just Me will be getting every detail of that!
