2026...

Still not much further away from the previous post on the last day of 2025.

WHAT IS MY LIFE???!!!!!

So many what ifs.

So many regrets.

I am not hoping for much in 2026.

Funny, once upon a time ago, Just Me was Optimistic Always.

What am I doing here...

 Why didn't I fight for what I would have loved to do?

Why didn't I find out about my condition earlier?

Why didn't I seek help?

Why didn't I set my foot down when I didn't want something thrust on me?

Why did I accept this?

Why am I here?

Celebrate this! *&^*%

Why do we still celebrate weddings?

Not just cishet weddings but weddings of any kind...

The crying, the effort, the 'celebration'... Eughh!

Because the falling out seems so unnecessarily messy and f*cked up!

And no, I won't accept the argument of because of "love" and "hope". Because most people who get married aren't privileged enough to retire on "love" and "hope" alone... And many of us aren't even privileged to get married in the first place.

And NO, I only call that privilege because it is for context. Not because I think it so.

Dear Just Me

Dear Just Me,

Madam R is no more...

Like Madam K, she too passed on an auspicious day.

On Aadi Shivrathri coinciding with Pradosham, approaching Aadi Amavasai.

She has apparently found a place at the feet of Lord Shiva.

Thank you grandmother.

My childhood's best memories were of you and Madam K.

As senility ravaged your body and mind, I got the opportunity to help care for you.

Till the very end.

God, grant this soul permanent sanctuary in Your abode.

Om Namashivaya.

Om Shanthi Shanthi Shanthi.

Still Yet 2018

SEVEN YEARS!

I declare! I am a virgin again!

IYKYK.

Additionally, no one is in sight.

I am not looking.

No one is trying.

Just an Anecdote

 I drive through one specific street almost if not every night.

And it is a dark street that hosts some ladies of the evening.

Ladies of trans experience to be specific.

The ladies there have seen my vehicle enough times to know I am not a potential customer.

But sometimes an unfamiliar saleswoman roam those streets too.

And I had a run in with one where she tried to "entice me".

As she stood in my way as I was driving off, I had to do it.

While gesturing to myself and subsequently making my wrists very superfluously and intentionally limp, I mouth the words, "Saya pondan" that translates to "I'm a faggot".

If you must know, 'pondan' is a slur but you know what they say about slurs. When reclaimed and used by the oppressed it empowers!

Speaking of 2025

 I turn a decade older this year.

And someone told me I look years younger than I am!

THE SUNSCREEN IS WORKING!!!

THE REGIMENTED SKINCARE IS WORKING!!!

SPF 50+ PA++++ FTW!!!

Here's to looking 40 when I am in my 60s!

I'll keep writing.

If Just Me can survive almost two decades, what's to say it won't survive a couple more!!!

2025

Just Me turns 20 in 2026!

TWENTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for 2025, I still hold on to what I believed in 2024, life will life.

Let's see where this takes me.

There's a major wedding happening and with that certainly something or rather to write about.

The fact that I hate weddings will unequivocally make this wedding my MOST dreaded one.

Simply because I will be part of a wedding that's closest to me.

God save me!

PS: Starting 2025 off with a rejuvenating mask! So I am well preserved! Like one of those specimens with smooth epidermis in a jar of chloroform!

Dear Just Me?

 Let me preface this post by saying I don't like most of my uncles.

They are all boomers and never unlearned anything!

Not that I think correlation is causation but the pattern is rather incriminating!

And the uncle that just passed away was no different.

He was dad's sister's husband.

Toxic masculinity incarnate, and a bigot to add.

He once argued with me that the red dragon fruit was red because the colour was artificially injected (one of many examples of his bigotry).

My degree thesis was on the red dragon fruit!

In any case, he is now no more.

He passed just over two weeks ago.

May the soul find respite before it's ultimate destiny.

Hari Om Tat Sat.

It's Done

I knew I had to reach here one way or another.

But it's still surreal nevertheless.