The Bath

Even if i have given most things in my life a thought, uncertainties pursue every possible plan. Nonetheless, we don't stop planning, we don't stop hoping, we are engineered to survive.

(The opening note had to be nice, the least.)

I hate my wardrobe!!!!!!!!!! I feel like burning all my clothes, i don't fit into anything!!! My better shirts are way too large (i wouldn't blame myself, one never imagined, in the wildest of dreams that one would achieve this current body size). My smaller shirts are so 15, that becoming of age period; experiments, malfunctions, untrained eye for colour, cut and style. My jeans are hand-me-ups; a few pairs my younger brother do not fit into (now this is when pigs should start flying; the brothers switched shoes; a situation never foreseen, not even remotely). I don't have a proper pair of dress up pants; the only one in current possession is another hand-me-down, my dad's. Imagine how that fits me now!!! Sadly, i am in no position to afford revamping my wardrobe. Studying is great but one thing that sucks is that you're left penniless.

Maybe i should just count my blessings instead. Cookies and Cakes had this bout of anger venting; one i have not seen in years, "NO!!! I feel that poor people cannot afford to be in love!!! Its a privilege!!! When you can't put food on the table, a roof over your head and some clothes on your back, how can you be perturbed over something as intangible as love??? " Although that statement seem to imply that half the people in this world are not love-worthy, he didn't mean that. What he really implied was ME and Stylish Mistress; in so much financial boundaries (although we both agreed that my crisis was pretty meager compared to that of Stylish Mistress's); can still afford to wail away our emotions and time about how depressingly erroneous, choices in our lives, have turned out to be. Priorities asshole, priorities!!! Enough said, if i am in no position to rant on about love (and in that course, exhaust myself of my emotional, mental and physical strength; oh yes, crying and wailing is very physically demanding for me), then i am in no situation to be contemplating luxuries; good clothes. I should live for my betterment, not my deprivation; my happiness; not my miseries...

I am in a time of my life when everything is...well......basically.........uhmmmppphhh............SHIT!!! BUT, but, but, but.... i am also at my prime, strong, able, fast, furious, unbeatable!!! When else if not now that i go through S-H-I-T???? I can handle them... When you crawl out of a puddle of mud, all soaking wet, covered with dirt, arms and legs bruised, smelling incredibly nauseating, and utterly wrecked, you think to yourself, FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!

But think bout it... 

...when you scramble up, onto your feet, drag yourself back home, trying to brush off gnawing, condescending looks, and you get home, your mom starts scolding you because you have been so careless, blind, bloody clumsy idiot she says, and you manage to get out of your best tee (sobs for that comfy Padini) and into the shower. You then turn on the shower, rinse like your body was covered in poop, scrub with copious amounts of perfumed shower foam, and repeat it at least two more times, just to knock off that feeling of disgust. You then walk into your room with air conditioning, put on some body talc, take a deep breath and say to yourself, "MAN, that was the BEST shower EVER!!!" You'd feel accomplished and dwell in being refreshed and rejuvenated. What something as simple as a bath can do for you... 

I am bathing now...

Puddle of mud: Mr P.

Mom: Mom, and Cookies and Cakes

Staring strangers: Friends who keep on going, "What happened to you??? Are you ok??? TALK TO ME!!!" Which sometimes translates to, "HAHAHA, look at you, you're so pathetic!!!"

Your best tee: Love (there will be another chance at either a Soda, a Giordano or whatever not).

Shower: God and lots of love from the people who care...

Air con and talc: i dunno, we'll see how accomplished i become and feel....