I am a MESS...

Ever reached a point where you thought you were wrapping things up but a turn of events make you realise you are where you started?

I am there now.

I have no way out.

I refuse to attempt suicide.

I cannot confront The High Priest and Priestess.

I cannot just drop everything and leave because the worst case scenario is too terrible to imagine.

Facing it on the other hand would mean at least 5 more years of suffering. Knowing I am doing something I don't want to do; something that is probably what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life.

I am back to square one.

Approaching 27, I am back to where I started, a big 0!!!

And two years of work now mean squat!

I don't even know what I am doing updating my blog...

I feel lifeless akin to a lump of meat not even fit for bacteria to initiate decaying on.

All because I couldn't stand up for myself.