Poor Miss Cries My Heart Out....

10 minutes to 4 a.m., my dog was barking at something outside draining my hope of getting to bed earlier den I usually do…

A few days ago I met up with a former varsity mate, my senior, Miss Cries My Heart Out. To my best of information she was together with a junior of mine Mr. Promiscuous Footballer. He happened to be a close friend of Mr. P. She WAS in a relationship with him; past-tense.

So happened that she revealed a part of her past to Mr. Promiscuous Footballer which he used against her. Things got ugly and she decided it was in her best interest that the attachment was disposed of. She also suspected him of two-timing her with another girl I know from a popular social networking webpage *winks* (sadly enough, Promiscuous Footballer had played his cards so well that both the women felt he was trustworthy.)

During our meet-up none of the horrifying details of our previous romantic endeavors were discussed-a good part of which was already conversed over a lengthy 3 hour call. She ended up knowing about Mr. P (only in due time will my confessions bear results, if which, stays stagnant, I have no worries over).

Now, here’s the catch. I know how hard it is to find out the person who could potentially be your husband is cheating on you. What if Cries My Heart Out finds out that he sleeps with men too? The cherry on top of the cake would be the repulsive fact (repulsive to her of course) that I am among one of the many suitors in his pursuit for sexual contentment over the past 3 years? What’s worse is that I am more than just a likely one night stand for him. I am a friend, one he has known well enough and even takes to confiding in (take note, i never slept with the guy.)

At that point, I felt nauseous; I felt vomit coming right up to my throat; word vomit. But suddenly something came over me; it pulled me back into my past, like falling into a deep hole and rising again when my worst nightmare materialized about a year ago. I had suspected Mr. P of having sexual favours done for him by other men and that just killed me… It still terrifies the living daylights of me if ever, God unwilling, I get attached and happen to find my boyfriend smooching with another pretty boy. I know how that feels… Jealousy is such a destructive semblance, either it destroys you, or drives you to destroy the one you love. So I took one gulp of my papaya juice and smiled back at her, whilst she was continuously ranting about her lack of control over emotional turbulence.

I texted Cookies n Cakes about this; although he took it coolly, I knew he was slightly dazed, if not mildly horrified. I found the whole matter rather revolting because it shows how this means for procreation has become revenue for worldly satisfaction. However, I do agree how marriage bonds are tightened by keeping sexual ventures wild and fascinating. Marriage, I believe is to be sealed with love or otherwise, is to be filled with love post-sealing. I am an upholder of monogamy or rather I have become so, ascertaining to myself that random sex is like filling your voids with abrasives. It deepens these voids.

Maybe I should talk to Promiscuous Footballer to change his ways… Wonder what is it that his heart lacks…???

Soon enough I had to leave Peaceful Suburb, after leaving my senior at home. Peaceful Suburb is definitely an ideal place to spend old age in. Cheap real estate, quiet setting, and well-equipped with basic necessities at arm’s length. To my wrath however it is a place I would never chose to live in because, in close proximity would be Mr. P’s Granma’s place where he so often frequents… Although, there is an exception; IF ever in the future that I decide to make it my abode, it shall only materialize if i am happily attached with the man of my dreams well into old age…

I am hungry; I hope there’s some leftover canned tuna in the refrigerator…