I Fucking Hate Weddings!

If you knew me in real life and follow me on Instagram, you may have seen a wonderful and eventful day that centered around my cousins wedding.

It may seem that I was having fun.

But it was entirely hypocritical!

Every single bit of it!!!

The only ray of wonderful amazing light was the fact that I was decked in a turquoise shirt and vesthi that had very broad gold borders.

Everything else was exhausting, infuriating, pathetic, frustrating and downright annoying.

I helped out... A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did my cousin's makeup and helped her choose her saree and pick out a matching costume jewellery set.
I helped with; menu selection
                       decor
                       choosing of songs
                       coordinating the performers
                       pre-planning
                       during pre-wedding rituals
                       groom's makeup
And MANY MORE!!!

All with a smile but a smile that is worth 10 eyerolls in the back of my head.
Getting jabbed by relatives with annoying probing questions.
Stupid jokes, oh the stupid jokes!
Old uncles with stupid jokes.
Old drunk uncles with stupid jokes.
Old drunk uncles with stupid jokes that I needed to respect.
Old aunties with stupid questions.
Old ugly aunties with stupid questions.
Old ugly aunties with stupid questions that I needed to respect.
Straight cousins.
Straight cousins who take a jab at me getting married next.
Straight cousins who take a jab at me getting married next that I needed to respect.
Lesser known relatives.
Lesser known relatives I had to smile and shake their hands.
Lesser know relatives that I had to smile at, shake their hands and make annoying small talks with.
Unknown relatives.
Unknown relatives I had to pretend to know.
Unknown relatives I had to pretend to know and smile at and shake theirs hands.
Kids I had to pretend to like.
Teenage cousins and nephews I had to exchange awkward stares with.

Just FYI, this is when I am a guest at the wedding.

Now add all that to my cousins wedding along with the following;

Pretending to dance like an uncle when I in actuality I want to move everyone away and show them why at one point people paid to watch me dance!
All while remembering tasks I had to accomplish throughout the wedding, both handed to me with and without my consent.
Sweating because all you do is run across the hall to get something done.
And you don't get to sit and rest for a minute because someone needs you.
Not being able to enjoy food because you were too busy.
Developing a bad breath because of all the work.
Developing BO because of the sweat (even if you have bathed in your designer perfume).

All in the name of marriage.
Something I don't believe in, in the first place.
Just because I know mom and her sister will be heart-broken if I abandoned them.

I FUCKING HATE WEDDINGS!