I Need...

Someone/something to drag me out of this!!!

Image courtesy of DV

This my absolute downfall!

I Miss My Former Alma Mater

Drove dad down to the capital of the country yesterday.

And realised how much of my life happened there.

The large mall so close to the former alma mater.

The public transportation I so often boarded.

The places I have actually walked through.

That warmth of being back home.

Yet it felt a little foreign.

Unfamiliar even...

I miss it.

All of it...

The Ghunghroos I Have Been Waiting For...

My endless optimistic babbles about Indian classical dance is mercilessly taunting my cynicism, threatening to corrode sarcasm and wit (or whatever semblance of it that I had).

After my first performance with TDS (the Indian performing arts institution I am currently affiliated with shall be named The Dance School TDS hereafter), I became obsessed with ghungroos because I knew the dancing bells presented to me were not the real deal.

Only last year we received original dance accessories, and this year news came to me that we would be getting (FINALLY) the proper odissi ghungroos. 

Image courtesy of http://odissidanceworld.com/

However even after paying for it, the ordeal of waiting for it did not end. 

Receiving news that it had arrived and I when I realised I was far from receiving them was too painful a realisation!

After months, yesterday I went back to TDS to attend the odissi performance for Navarathri this year (which I would have been part of if not for my stupid MSc thesis). 

And my teacher blessed me and finally (after MONTHS!!!!) handed me my very own GHUNGROOS!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inch after inch, I admired them, to the point of inspecting each individual bell removing a few stray pieces of brass metal. 

And took many many pictures!

On my ankles.

A comparison with the bells I strung myself.

Notice the difference in size. The original ones (right) are made out of thicker brass.

A comparison to the ones I received on my maiden odissi performance with TDS.

It's like my own happy family!

And of course the star of this post!

Its arrival has given me a joy as intense as the time I first performed with TDS and the joy of receiving my very own odissi accessories.

I feel complete.

Happy Birthday to You!

Hdaran is another year older...

Happy Birthday Hdaran...

By mid-life,

Live your life!

Soon,

Get back to passions,

Find your way back to your ghungroos,

Don't let will give way to complacency,

Strive,

In the next few weeks,

Your life would be decided...

Sincerely,

Hdaran

Important Not-So-Flash News Flashes #2

Post Important Not-So-Flash News Flashes was the marriage ceremony of Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine. Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine is my cousin sister who is the daughter of one of The High Priestess's sister. We (Hdaran and Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine) share the same year of birth.

The following were Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine's request from me prior to the event;

#1 Help her with selection of accessories for both her temple wedding ceremony and wedding reception dinner.

#2 Opinions and suggestions on the outfit for her wedding reception dinner.

#3 Do her makeup for the wedding reception dinner.

#4 Choreograph a dance item with the rest of my cousins for her wedding reception dinner.

#5 Assist with anything else that may need assisting prior to and during the events (both the temple ceremony and the reception dinner).

About two weeks before the date I gathered my cousins (including 2 nephews and a niece), 10 strong and sat down to discuss dance items and choreography. And then went on to choreograph and co-ordinate costumes and styling of costumes for the dance. In the midst of that, I also went around the island with her hunting for a set of accessories that perfectly matched her outfit for her wedding reception dinner.

Now, all these mundane details culminated in the excitement that peaked during the dinner.

Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine looked gorgeous in her outfit, kudos to me!

About two months before the event, she actually showed me a video of her fiancee's cousins dance which was completed and undergoing perfecting when at that point not even details of ours were decided upon. I promised her of a performance that would top that of her future in-laws.
And, of course, I delivered which, I daresay, blew their minds off!

The performance was in sort of a medley of three dance pieces each lasting 2 to 3 minutes long and each suited perfectly to the age of my cousins/nephews/niece. The three pieces were strung together, one group entering the stage right after the other was done, to result in one big group number.

I always knew I could do this and have, in fact, done better. But none of my relatives have ever witnessed my capabilities because my commercial dance endeavors ended with my BSc. graduation. Back in my home-state, I only ever performed odissi.

And they were awed beyond their wildest expectations. Watching the video later, I heard screams from Pseudo Lil' Miss Sunshine, loud enough to be captured by the video camera! The applauds were tremendous and the praises were abundant!

Important Not-So-Flash News Flashes

Just for those who've been wondering what I have been up to in the past few months...

News Flash #1

Since December the 18th, I've been busy with a whole lot of things, the first and foremost my Masters. I am now in my fourth year and I have finally got down to the last part of it. Remember when I had to start my masters from scratch, now my bench work (experimentation in the lab) has been over and done with and I have also completed another prerequisite for the submission of my thesis. It's all about getting that sucker called thesis done and I am done!

Note: The last time I was out of the country was in December 2000 when my parents took us to India for a fourteen day trip. I traveled out of the country again this year, 12 years later. TWICE!

News Flash #2

First time I ventured out of Malaysia was for a joint seminar with a certain Thailand university for the exchange and discussion of information regarding food and biotechnology; updates and new discoveries. We stayed in Hatyai. Thailand to me is a land of wonders. When a cousin of mine asked me how it was like;

Cousin : So how was Thailand la?
Hdaran : Awesome! I wanna live there!!!

Alcohol is CHEAP even in 7-Eleven!
Nothing in the Internet is censored because I tried accessing, first a gay online dating site and then a gay porn website using the hotel's wireless connection.
People are OPENLY gay! LGBTs are just another fragment of society in Thailand!
And pork EVERYWHERE!!!
I LOVE!

I went there with a Muslim university lecturer and Muslim friends so I had to refrain from indulging in alcohol. But I made it a point to try out the pork burger in MacDonalds. The Samurai Pork burger as Cookies and Cakes told me. "Porky goodness la! You must try!" and so I did. When we were allowed to do some shopping alone, I sneaked into the MacDonalds at Lee Gardens and had the Samurai Pork Burger!

Serious awesomeness!

News Flash #3

The travelling to foreign lands did not stop there.
Next up was Srilanka.
This was exciting not because it was Srilanka but mostly because of the reason I was there.

The dance school I am affiliated with has branches in several other countries besides Malaysia (4 branches in Malaysia; Coimbatore, India; Perth & Adelaide, the latter being the latest addition, Australia; Singapore; and; Colombo, Sri Lanka). Some might have already guessed which performing arts institution I am referring to.

Annually, the birthday of our founder is celebrated, in turns, by one of these centers in a spectacle so beautiful that one would be lucky to be a part of it or even witness the event. This year the odissi group was chosen (over baratanatyam and other performing arts groups) to represent the center I am currently affiliated with. I was chosen alongside 5 other female dancers. Only 4 of us actually made the trip. And we were in mostly Colombo, the largest city in which the capital of Srilanka, Sri Jayawardenapura-Kotte is situated.

We hardly had time to indulge in sightseeing, but managed souvenirs shopping.
We took in what we could inside the vans and mini-buses that were assigned for us within the distances we traveled.
I saw colourful auto-rickshaws, abundant Buddha statues, churches, throngs of people in a wet market, their horrible traffic conditions and sometimes narrow roads.
I also saw deliciously gorgeous Srilankan men and equally beautiful Srilankan women, high-end restaurants, bars, lounges and clubs which bear testament to the night life of their rich and well-to-do, KFCs, MacDonalds, Pizza Huts, shopping malls, all were sights not unforeseeable yet still managed to excite us.
We spoke to the locals there whom were more than merely surprised at our command of the Tamil language.
They were also surprised that we have provisions in our country (which for them was a far away land called Malaysia, hardly seemed like a place for Indians let along Tamils to flourish) for preserving our Tamil/Indian heritage.
We were surprised that they spoke more Tamil than we had anticipated.
And that they spoke it so beautifully it could have been carefully scripted.
We were surprised that they dressed more in pants, T-shirts, shirts, skirts, shorts, rather than dhotis, sarees and Punjabi suits.
But we could always tell who were foreigners (us) and who were locals (them).

It was an experience I would treasure for the rest of my life.

Our odissi performance received rave reviews.

I was a stranger upon entering this foreign land with even the Malaysians presents there being foreign to me BUT when I was done with the group performance, I ceased from being foreign to everyone who witnessed us.

The plane back to M'sia.

When we were back, news came in from our teachers (whom are based in KL) that we did a wonderful job.

I think I'll leave it at that.
I've still got Pseudo Miss Sunshine's wedding story to get through and can you believe all this happened in the first half of 2013???!!!

I am in LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #4

I stumbled upon this divinely beautiful man today watching him in Hot in Cleveland.

You gotta love Betty White and Wendie Malick.
(Note: If you are still waiting for subtitles go find on Google; Hot in Cleveland).

One of the best part of the show is the eye-candy they love showing off.

I've drooled over Mark Deklin (hot lawyer), Isaiah Mustafa (hot coach), James Patrick Stuart (hot TV reporter), Jay Harrington (hot yuppie), Eddie Cibrian (hot fireman) and many others (if you're gay go look up these actors and I highly doubt you'd be disappointed; if you aren't then these people are are really good looking men) but nothing rivals (in the eyes of my beholding) this week's Pej Vahdat called Ravi!

By the way
he's 6 feet tall,
he was on several other TV shows which I didn't bother going on reading about,
and there's a serious lack of information on the world wide web about him.

Courtesy of tumblr.com 

Courtesy of buddytv.com

Courtesy of his Twitter account.

And finally (my favourite shot!), as Ravi in Hot in Cleveland's S04E20 - Cleveland Indians

ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*feeling dizzy*

*trying to stay on feet*

*faints*

Did I mention he played a straight acting gay guy 

who's in love with a wedding planner

AND he comes out to his INDIAN mom 

(with some help from Elka a.k.a Betty White of course)!!!!!

Oh Ravi, Ravi, 

I mean, Pejman!!!!

*faints again*

What Would You?

Colourful dream last night.

I trembled...

But I was excited nonetheless...

Never thought it would ever happen again...

I already knew how I'd respond if it did...

That's the problem with having dreams like this...

The rest of my day gets fucked up...

What would you do...

If the person you gave your all to...

Comes back into your life for sex...

I'd succumb...

I still feel I would...

And that was the dream...

I had oral sex with Mr. P...

Only giving...

Like it was between the both us...

When it was "us"...