I Say Nothing

With just two days left, I am in a state of denial to the course my life has taken.

Here's me breaking out of being in denial.

#1 I am back to my old size, a size 38 pair of denims are the only other thing besides another pair of cotton pants that fit me now. Sounds trivial. But like most obese people, there are so many underlying emotions involved.

#2 I keep trying to blame everything else for this predicament but I have come into terms that it was indeed my doing. My fears, my insecurities, my inabilities, my shortcomings.

#3 I procrastinate which has kept me away from many things I could have sorted out in my life. Everything in my life would have been better had I done it WHEN it should have been done.

In less than half a decade I'd be midlife. All that's left is but a few more years to not regret an eternity of selling myself short to myself.

In the past, I have had said many things to motivate myself and I've said it with conviction.

Now they all seem juvenile for most of it has become nothing but mere words.

I've decided to say nothing.

And do everything.