My Choices

It doesn't help to feel helpless, especially when your best friends need you...

I wish I could just drop everything and just dash off to hold a friend's hand or give him/her a hug.

I wish I had the luxury of time and space for this.

We are eternally bound by the need to fulfill our worldly duties; to our family, to ourselves, our loved ones, our friends. And priorities govern these duties. 

Like so many other people, I have always put family above everything else, sometimes even myself and my choices. Although I have always felt like that was more often than not, detrimental to achieving my utmost potential in so many ways, I stand by my choice (not always whole-heartedly). And like everything in life, it ultimately boils down to one's own choices. Every split second decision we formulate based on possibilities and consequences is exactly that; our choices. I have moaned, cried, stressed, beat myself up even, over so many things that have befallen me, all of which I recently decided was juvenile. 

Who we are, what we do, things we perceive, outcomes we expect, achievements we desire, likes we have, semblances we hate, people we love, devils we abhor; all these are more or less the manifestations of everything us. People were never designed to be blatantly categorised and and distinguished into Columns A, B and C, in fact nothing in this world was. And so, I have learned, more or less, to stand by my choices in life, which makes me, me...

I decided to blow Mr. P.

I decided to start inhaling cigarette smoke.

I decided to blow whomever I have blown so far.

I decided to take an interest in fashion and makeup.

I decided to start dance classes.

I decided to come back to my homeland to pursue my Masters Degree.

I decided to slack, in many ways.

I decided to slash my wrist once upon a time ago.

I decided to listen to my parents.

I decided to help my brother and stand by him should things go wrong.

I decided on which phone I want.

I decided to read the books I have read.

I decided to be me.

My choices and all.

I decided.

I stand by my choices and will try to never complain, because I made them.

Because I wanted to!