The Bottom Line for J

What do you do when comparing yourself? Everyone does at one point of their lives, but more importantly, how does one chose to see the glass. And is seeing it half empty being insatiable or tapping potential. Compare yourself to the better or the worse?? Measure yourself against the mediocre or the well-delved??? I exchanged some text messages with Cookies and Cakes about this matter, which is why sometimes I feel that these feelings of inadequacy tend to prevalently affect me…

(Excuse the SMS simplifications; I wanted it to be as close to reality)

CnC: I hv shown City Fren my blog.n he seemed to understand.well,im undermining him(he would so slap me if he heard tis)but he did commented my blog is rather too bombastic.word selection wise.lol

Myself: Lol! I’ve had loads of people who wave de white flag cos they think dat my command of de language is too, how can I put it, advanced, for dem 2 comprehend… I mean, here u are wanting 2 improve ur skills, n I think I’d never get close 2 ur proficiency, n people think my skills r too good to comprehend...

CnC: But somehow all tis writin in blogs hv made me improve my language command.i learn how to express myself more accurately.but ther is still so much to improve! Gosh J,u can get to my level of proficiency.just keep writin n keep readin.

Myself: I know I can. Probably I don’t persevere like u do…

CnC: Tts cos im forced to.im _____*Cookies and Cakes current priority*.ther’s no room to slack at e linguistic dept.plus wif Stylish Mistress,High-Achieving Babes,College Fren,n Ever-Present Hysterical Gal ard constantly keepin me on my toes to mind my language.im mediocre compared to those lot!

Myself: Lol! True. True. Gosh, n I have people here who put me on a pedestal!

CnC: Then currently ther’s even Stylish Foreigner-so well read n sharp wiif his words! City Fren’s english is good too(hence e constant sarcasms),n Polished Teacher n my lecturers!n a few online frens who are freelance writers n professionals.i think its true when ppl say,if u wanna be successful,surround urself wif successful ppl, if u want to be positive,surround urself wif such ppl…

Myself: True… I’ve gotta start doing dat…

How can a person escape feeling inadequate; when you compare yourself to what you think is greatness and somehow, in some way, it is proven erroneous and you realize you’re nothing more than mediocrity? No, it isn’t complaining, for myself it is comprehending, trying to make sense of this whole situation. Retrograding is not what I look forward to; but I have sometimes thought I will fall under pressure.

Smashed, when I try to reach beyond capability.

Shattered, when I come to realize that I can’t move mountains (purely metaphorically speaking).

Then, without warning, Cookies and Cakes sends me this text message;

CnC: *irrelevant part of the text, may lead to confusion*…but yea, J, u hv gr8 potentials to be even better than u are right now.Metro Me n i agreed tt u comin bak2pg was e best decision ever for present times(whereas god knows wats best for me now).u hv lost urself along e way n pick it up again but ther’s stil so much potential in u tt u hv not explored n tapped into.i hv so much faith in u but I know its all in ur hands on wat u wanna do wif tis lil life of urs.n ther’s no 1 standard,Metro Me needs humility,more worldly awareness n liberalism,i need humility,even more temperament,so u gotta examine n work on wher u think is lacking.we hv faith in u!

WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!!

My best friend here has more faith in me than I do??? The amount of remorse this one message caused me!!! When I have individuals who think I have capabilities beyond even what I think I can do then, heck yea, I should push myself to strive for the better!!!

*hugs CnC*

So it got me thinking about areas of myself which are insufficient, derisory even.

I have to start my odissi journey which has been long due (still beating myself over this one).

I love reading, being obsessed over a particular well-written publication ever so awe-inspiring; difficult to put down. Read!!! Must start READING!!!

Fashion, again, this one true passion of mine requires, to a great length, more comprehension through reading, maturity through keeping up with trends and creativity through exploring potential hidden treasures.

Being knowledgeable in general; newspapers, magazines, Internet, audio-visual stimulation (yes yes yes, the idiot box) etc.

Bottom line: time to move my Ar$e!!!!

Short term goal: improve everything in life.

Long term goal: no regrets in life.