Mr. Funny Architect’s note had one red alert, according to him, his bike had but 5% fuel left *bursts out in laughter after taking a glance at the note again* So I had to ride the bike out to go get fuel. It reminded me of the times when I used to ride out Mr. P’s bike to go get fuel, without being asked or sometimes being told to do so. It was like turning around and facing a part of the Devil of my Past. To draw an analog would be like a lion tamer revisiting that very lion which gnawed off half his limb (whichever it is you chose to imagine), only now he has fully recovered and that particular lion is behind a steel cage. Seeing it would send shivers down his spine but he’s ok now, free of the trauma and ready to bounce back on the rest of the lions with his remaining functioning limbs.
And with that note, the entire day went from exciting (because I was anticipating a movie get together later in the evening) to sober… Full of reflection on the past and yet somehow, not the least affected by it.
My phone ran out of credit, and so I needed to stop by 7-11 to reload. Then again, Mr. Funny Architect’s bike was a little wobbly and I didn’t want to risk getting having to make another U-turn. Besides, I would love to walk down from my room to 7-11 (a mere 10 minute walk) with my earphones plugged in to some of my favourite tunes on my cell phone.
*un peyarai sollum pothe ulnenjil kondaattam, unnode vaazha thane uyir vazhum poraattam……*
“At the mention of your name, my heart celebrates joy. To live with you is why battle with life…”
Funny how these words will only come out from me and not the person I loved so dearly. I started my way to 7-11 with earphones in place and my pouch bag over my shoulder. The wind was blowing in such a manner that I felt it fine tuned itself to hit me in the best possible way, from the most promising of angles, that it swept me away from my restlessness of being lonely and deprived.
First song ends and second one starts playing.
*ore naal siritten, mare naal veretten, unai naanum kollamal kondre putaitene, mannipaaya x3*
“One day I smiled, the next day I was filled with hatred, because I killed and buried you without even having to do so… will u forgive me…#”
*a beautiful flute solo follows for a few seconds*
These words would mean nothing to him because I did no such thing #. But I gave him my entire self; I was his for the taking. I did so because that was what he initially wanted. God knows I was hopelessly in love. God, after all, meant for this to happen. I didn’t know then that I was making a complete fool out of myself. Doing his laundry, his assignments, helping him study for his exams, giving him money, offering advice, giving him comfort (that would include body massages almost every other nite), getting him food, cigarettes and, trust me when I say the list has just begun.
That is all now in the past.
The aura surrounding me on my way back from 7-11 was sober one, but everything was finally at rest. A long lost peace, now within me, an old friend finally together again…
*punches in the numbers for digi reload*
Mr. Loneliness and Mr. Depression, two entities that have managed to sway me for the past 3 years on various occasions are now still showing up, making their ever so prominent entries in my life… But these days it looks like I laugh at Mr. Depression’s pathetic sense of fashion (lifeless and dull is the way he chooses to adorn himself) and Mr. Loneliness, no matter how fashion forward he may be, all he can do is sit and stare at me actually enjoying his silent presence….
*guitar solo plays*(my message ringtone)
Reload successful….
Indeed, I reloaded myself with peace and bliss….
