OK, Godbro, no more in my life (although memories are cherished n dark moments, vividly carved into memory), met loads and loads of people (including a lot of local Indian celebrities from the silver screen), danced so much till, my record performance, was a piece choreographed the day before the event, went for a by-invitation-only fashion show which came with complementary cocktail (finally!!!), bought some brand names (for my wardrobe and also my grooming, i.e. SODA, SEED, Padini, Three Point Six, Echo Park, Ciano, The Body Shop, Snails, Lakme, Maybelline, Elianto etc. maybe not big a deal to some, but a huge deal for me), started doing my brows and started using proper makeup (if and when i go out for an important event or chilling out with my best friends in a lounge or a bar) and earned Jaan as a best friend and Sunbear as my partner...
Well, I've been great, life so far from my previous posts was another roller-coaster ride, is still a bunch of roses, and has been ever so fabulous. But there are a few things I've learnt down the road, among which
Not all people who claim to be sexually 'bent' are truly so, and hence, expecting my acquaintances and possible suitors to exercise monogamy even before anything starts to flourish is absolutely impossible and so i have learnt to not expect and keep every acquaintance on a get-to-know basis. One reason, is that, desperately sex-deprived men turn to men for mere pleasure, and since sex with men is most often more readily available, voila!!! Another reason is the fact that gay relationships are not-well not in Malaysia at least- marriage-bound and so all the more reason men secretively get into same sex bonding for more then just contact and friendship. Its tough being gay and surviving my country men but i have come across those who have been accepting and nothing beats having people to see you as someone more to offer than just being a laughing stock. There's more to a lot of PLU (people like us) than just being sexually bent (be it sexual orientation or sexual identity). I happen to see artists, accountants, doctors, i.e. maestros, geniuses and lifesavers in them than just the label 'gay men'...
I have to stand for what i want to do and be!!! And i am regretting the fact that i failed to do so long long time ago... I want to study fashion, and that seems only remotely possible. Winning over my parents to allow me to diverge (which in my books would be to get on the right track) seems to be the most daunting of all hurdles to overcome... I am praying for a miracle but i do have hope that even the wildest of my dreams (which isn't so much of a miracle) would come true...
Just take people easy. I have seen so many impossibly insatiable people that I've learnt to take people easy. The more seriously you take people to be, the more complicated things get when you want to relate to them. In a way it helps me be less judgemental and more accepting even to the worse of twisted minds and even the simplest of saint-like-human beings. But where best friends are concerned i dispose of the need to adapt for obvious reasons that needs no mentioning.
well, a huge gap, but was worth it (the post, not the gap)
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