I missed a Dear Just Me,
And it's so surprising since I could've sworn on all that I hold dear that I wrote about it.
It was an uncle and technically one that's close to mom, because he was married to her sister. And by that extension, he's a close relative of mine too...
However, I didn't feel the TINIEST bit remorse because this man's birthday wishes to me were along the lines of:-
Uncle: Happy Birthday kunji (bird in Tamil, and it goes without saying that it's euphemism for penis)
Me: Thanks peripa.
Uncle: So your kunji got longer... How much longer?
Come to think of this, a condescending "kunji" was standard greeting with this man.
Imagine how a non binary person with gender dysphoria like me felt, EVERY FUCKING TIME I see this man!
This man was also chock full of of misogynistic jokes in addition to being toxic masculinity incarnate!
He once called to scold me, YES SCOLD ME (I was in my thirties at this point) for accompanying my aunties (a bunch of "girls") saying, "what are you doing with the ladies, you kunji you".
In short, I NEVER looked forward to meeting this man. NEVER!
He passed in 2021 of cancer.
That's sad, obviously. He was beloved by his wife, daughters, grandchildren, in addition to the extended family, my mom included.
But not to me.
This was a preface to a story about another uncle (mom has two other married sisters), who was close to him.
Just as misogynistic, just as toxic, but this one was tolerable because those jokes about my penis annually gaining inches was absent along with a much helpful quieter disposition.
In reference to the title of this post, a few weeks ago, he started crying when speaking about his deceased friend (the dead uncle).
And as sad as it is, and as entitled he is to be sad about his friend, I just imagine a woman, any woman close to my deceased uncle; his wife, his daughters, crying in the midst of talking about him and how he would have invariably made fun of them or told them to get over themselves.
All while, the reactions he got was sympathy.
Except me of course.
Although I didn't externalise it, I was internally laughing my ass off!
Damn, cis toxic masculine men are helluh emotional!
Toughen up! Jeez!