I have to share this peculiar reaction when I used to come out to some straight men.
Despite my effeminate disposition, the shocked reaction was almost ubiquitous across my coming out to men.
But there were a good handful that also pitied me.
Reflecting on it, I've just come to realise that comphet dictates that we are ALWAYS seen as less than, regardless of whether it comes from a place of malice or a place of empathy. Both equally harmful because while one cause active damage, it is visible and hence avertible meanwhile the other protects complicit queerphobia and is thus insidious... difficult to move, impossible to dodge... gets unpredictably violent when agitated.