Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Blowing My Mind!

I simply cannot bring myself to believe, that MOST people in this world believe that God believes that a faction of human beings suddenly decided that, for the sole purpose of defying God's believes, started sleeping with people of the same sex. 

I also simply cannot bring myself to believe, that MOST people in this world believe that God believes that a faction of human beings suddenly decided that, for the sole purpose of defying God's believes, began to act, feel and "want" to be a way everyone doesn't.

Do you think that we want to be gay, trans, or queer to oppose God???

Wait wait wait, you think we want???!!! As in we had a choice????

Ok ok ok.

You don't have to walk a mile in our shoes, you just need to step into it.

Step into it and you have no idea why simply acting how you want to makes the world start hating you.

Step into it and be told why you should act the way you should, right thereafter question your existence and subsequently be utterly perplexed why the world works in this excruciatingly inexplicable way.

Step into it and be confused why God thinks you shouldn't exist because all you're doing is simply being alive.

Step into it and you understand suicide (and an almost unmatched motivation for it especially if you're born into an unfavourable circumstance).

This is just a single queer person's rant. Just one single person.

A version of me is in an unhappy marriage and cheating on his wife.

A version of me died by suicide.

A version of me was killed in police brutality.

A version of me earns from sex trade and is likely carrying multiple venereal diseases.

A version of me is fighting for the LGBTQIA++ rights.

A version of me ran away from home at a young age.

A version of me has been disowned by his parents.

ALSO

A version of me is happily married to a man.

A version of me survived suicide and is now living a full life.

A version of me participated in a protest and has lived to tell the tale.

A version of me won a landmark decision for LGBTQIA++ people.

A version of me has parents that accepted her and now goes by **insert Indian woman name**.

A version of me has parents that have a son in law. 

AND

A version of me is now living a life in secrecy but without any excitement of being who he is, writing an anonymous blog and acting like a hetero cis guy while doing something in life he loathes at the moment. 

Sunday, October 04, 2020

If Only

 If only I'm allowed to be constantly be myself.

I am just imagining the world that would open me up to.

Even today I am reminded of the insufferably heteronormative, cisgender world I live in.

Questions of my "imminent" marriage, my singlehood and my so called should be planning for a wife cannot seem to elude my existence! Especially from older people who should probably just shut the f**k up!

So funny. All I've heard from ALL of my aunts is the constant, agonising complaints about their husbands and vice versa. And these people advocate marriage??!!!

I want to live in a world of my people. 

A world where I can wear whatever and walk however I want to.

A world where I can put on a full face of makeup and walk in heels to a lovely vegan brunch restaurant with my friends.

A world where I can get up in the morning, meditate and then cook myself a lovely meal.

A world where I can create creatively and not face prosecution for it.

It exists.

I would have to travel there.

But I love my parents too much to entertain that notion.

And I guess that's the reason Just Me exists...