As a child, among other things, I absolutely despised being in crowded spaces.
I still do but being 32 it now depends on context.
If a group of people are crowding a space to get free food then I am the child.
If a group of people are crowding a space for something I believe to be a glimpse of electric spiritual energy then I am my version post changeover.
Case in point, Thaipusam.
It has, over time, gone from a festival I was uncomfortable with because of crowds (with the uncalled addition of a fraction of Malaysian Indian men whose abominable need to be drunk and dancing on the streets during a time of fulfilling one's vows and penance made me furious), to a gala of sorts celebrating Lord Muruga and the effects a cosmic constellation brings about in lives of the devoted, that I now have come to look forward to (of course blissfully ignoring the parade of ignorant men "celebrating" Thaipusam in intoxication).
Thaipusam 2018 was the most eventful to date because this was the first one after the recent paradigm shift in life.
My eyes welled up when I was in front of the deity staring at him being bathed in abhishegam offerings as I handed the temple volunteers my end of the bargain.
Thaipusam just become much MUCH more significant in my life.
I miss it already and I anxiously await the next!!!