Am I racist because I have never been attracted to fair skinned people?
In my family (in fact, generally among Malaysian Indians), being fair is coveted and skin darkness inversely correlates to attractiveness.
I was constantly compared to my brother who happened to be gratuitously fair for being born to deep tanned Indian parents. I was, by default, the uglier sibling. My entire extended family shared this view.
There was this one single situation that happened when I was a child that cemented my believe that I was uglier than my brother. Not ugly, just uglier. An aunt of mine was introducing me to a relative....
Aunt: There this is her eldest son.
Relative X: Oh, I see hello aiya...
Aunt: Wait wait, you see the younger fella, that fella fairer and more good looking.
*acknowledging nods*
Yes, that happened.
However, as we grew up, I was flabbergasted when people would tell me that I happened to be more attractive than my brother.
I guess, under that fair-skin-is-attractive filter, my family members failed to recognise bone structure.
That seemed to have no affect on ONE inherent quality in me.
Somehow, I, unknowingly became averse to fair skinned people in being romantically attracted to them.
For me, the darker a person is, the more attractive he (or she also can la..... since I am gay I just use 'he' la!) is.
Does that make me a racist then?
Because imagine me telling you I am not attracted to you because you're too fair...